desperance (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
desperance) wrote2013-02-21 05:11 pm
desperance) wrote2013-02-21 05:11 pm
Bacon report
When I was eight, I learned the word "procrastinate", when my teacher invited me up to the front to demonstrate wave forms on the board (we were building an oscilloscope at the time), and I dithered so long over which forms to draw he said, "You see, class? This is what I was telling you before: Charles procrastinates."
He was a smart man, was Dr Johnstone. I still do. Frequently it costs me money, or other agony; often and often it costs me food, as the whatever-it-is goes bad before I get around to using it. I despise this in myself, and I still do it anyway. Not capable of learning, seemingly.
Yesterday, I thought I was going to do it with my lovely green bacon: dither so long over whether to roast or smoke it that I would end up doing neither and it would go sticky and slimy and waaaah. So I took the easy option, banged the oven on low and put the bacon on a rack and let it roast for a couple of hours as per instructions.
Lessons learned:
1) I need a good instant-read thermometer. Probably a Thermapen. I am saving my money as we speak. (The book says "until internal temp reaches 150F"; my joint was smaller and I gave it longer and according to my ridiculously cheap thermometer it never got that high. I choose to disbelieve the thermometer, and replace it with something reliable.)
2) Even once provided with adequate machinery, I don't think I'll do it this way again. What I have as a result is delicious, but more like ham than bacon: it looks and tastes lightly cooked to me, rather than cured. Which is not what I'm after.
I am of course rightly incapable of mulling over bacon and rawness and so forth without recalling the infamous Thekla von Stift, who ate raw bacon at a midnight feast and was rendered appallingly ill, andnever thereafter was heard from again very shortly afterwards became the first girl ever expelled from the Chalet School. (No, not actually for eating raw bacon, that's just a symptom of her general shocking waywardness - but I never can remember what she actually gets sacked for, so in my head yes, the bacon did it.)
In passingly-related news, I do love how Wikipedia will say "There were no results matching the query 'Thekla von Stift'. The page does not exist. Did you mean 'Thier von Stift'?" - and you click on "Thier von Stift" (which is a live link) out of curiosity, and it says "There were no results matching the query 'Thier von Stift'. The page does not exist..."
He was a smart man, was Dr Johnstone. I still do. Frequently it costs me money, or other agony; often and often it costs me food, as the whatever-it-is goes bad before I get around to using it. I despise this in myself, and I still do it anyway. Not capable of learning, seemingly.
Yesterday, I thought I was going to do it with my lovely green bacon: dither so long over whether to roast or smoke it that I would end up doing neither and it would go sticky and slimy and waaaah. So I took the easy option, banged the oven on low and put the bacon on a rack and let it roast for a couple of hours as per instructions.
Lessons learned:
1) I need a good instant-read thermometer. Probably a Thermapen. I am saving my money as we speak. (The book says "until internal temp reaches 150F"; my joint was smaller and I gave it longer and according to my ridiculously cheap thermometer it never got that high. I choose to disbelieve the thermometer, and replace it with something reliable.)
2) Even once provided with adequate machinery, I don't think I'll do it this way again. What I have as a result is delicious, but more like ham than bacon: it looks and tastes lightly cooked to me, rather than cured. Which is not what I'm after.
I am of course rightly incapable of mulling over bacon and rawness and so forth without recalling the infamous Thekla von Stift, who ate raw bacon at a midnight feast and was rendered appallingly ill, and
In passingly-related news, I do love how Wikipedia will say "There were no results matching the query 'Thekla von Stift'. The page does not exist. Did you mean 'Thier von Stift'?" - and you click on "Thier von Stift" (which is a live link) out of curiosity, and it says "There were no results matching the query 'Thier von Stift'. The page does not exist..."
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At least Betty Wynne-Davis did something interesting, poor girl.
And Margot Maynard should definitely have been expelled for nearly killing Betty Landon as well as trying to blackmail Ted - instead the victims get a telling off!