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desperanceI hope we all learned something today.
For me, I have learned this: that damage recovery takes longer than I'm ready for. If I had put in this much keyboard-time a month ago, I'd have had two thousand words or more behind me by now, and I'd be happy and charging forward.
Today? I don't believe I've achieved half that. And I am sullen, because almost all of me believes that I should have done; and I am still dragging myself onward, and it's all grim and lightless and without tone or form.
Also, if I were to believe anything my hand tells me today, I would believe that it's gone backwards. Today I cannot reach into my pocket without yelling. And the idiot cat has attempted his favourite idiot leap to the top of a bookcase that is already piled high with boxes; he does this regularly, with always the same result, that all those boxes come tumbling down alongside of him, and then he has to run away while I shout and put all the boxes back. And this time he pulled a boxful of paperclips off a shelf as he fell, and they are now glitteringly strewn all over the floor, and something else I cannot do is reach down to pick up paperclips. I could get down on my knees and scrabble, I suppose, but - well. Tomorrow.
For me, I have learned this: that damage recovery takes longer than I'm ready for. If I had put in this much keyboard-time a month ago, I'd have had two thousand words or more behind me by now, and I'd be happy and charging forward.
Today? I don't believe I've achieved half that. And I am sullen, because almost all of me believes that I should have done; and I am still dragging myself onward, and it's all grim and lightless and without tone or form.
Also, if I were to believe anything my hand tells me today, I would believe that it's gone backwards. Today I cannot reach into my pocket without yelling. And the idiot cat has attempted his favourite idiot leap to the top of a bookcase that is already piled high with boxes; he does this regularly, with always the same result, that all those boxes come tumbling down alongside of him, and then he has to run away while I shout and put all the boxes back. And this time he pulled a boxful of paperclips off a shelf as he fell, and they are now glitteringly strewn all over the floor, and something else I cannot do is reach down to pick up paperclips. I could get down on my knees and scrabble, I suppose, but - well. Tomorrow.