And for their next trick...

[desperance]

You know those annoying people who try to impress you by whisking away the tablecloth while leaving the entire contents on the table undisturbed...?

You should understand that my kitchen bin is like an old-fashioned metal dustbin, complete with heavy lid; I line it with a bin-bag.

You know where this is going, don't you?

Came down this morning to find the binbag in the middle of the kitchen floor. The dustbin was still upright; the lid was still on; all the accumulated trash was still inside the bin. Only the binbag had been neatly extracted. It was really quite clever, in a thoroughly annoying kind of way.

Also, I don't know if this is clever or not, but Baz seems to have decided that his best chance of an undisturbed night is to sleep on my pillows, behind my head, presumably in hopes that I will protect him from the Awful Boy.

Which is fine - and I do protect him, a bit, if I'm awake - but not so good when it's three in the morning and I am blessedly asleep and there is suddenly smiting paws across my face, in a waking-up kind of way.

Also, this is not clever at all, but when Barry has acquired something precious and edible he has this fabulous dark growl that is clearly intended to drive off competition, but actually just alerts me to the fact that he's snatched something. As it might be, my roasted smoked pork loin. At which point it's all thank you, Barry, but I'll have that back now; and yes, I am quite happy to cut off the cat-chewed corner and eat the rest; and yes, I really am going to give the cat-chewed corner to the Awful Boy, see? See me do it...?

Comments

[esmeraldus-neo.livejournal.com]

thank you, Barry, but I'll have that back now; and yes, I am quite happy to cut off the cat-chewed corner and eat the rest; and yes, I really am going to give the cat-chewed corner to the Awful Boy, see? See me do it...?

Although I would do exactly the same thing, I don't think that my smaller brethren quite grasp concept of the Spite Treat.

[wishwords.livejournal.com]

You have the most destructively busy kitties I've ever seen. They are into even more things than the pixie bob I used to have.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Nope, mine neither. Baz's bewildered, his ultimately shattered confidence - "you are going to give some to me now, aren't you? Aren't you? Chaz...?" - was almost moving. Almost.

Also, "Spite Treat" is exactly the phrase. Thank you.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

You have heard Sue's 'missing bin bag / rubbish in bottom of bin' story, haven't you? (Turned out she'd had burglars - tidy burglars - who'd needed a bag to remove the loot...)

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Evil. "Evil" is the word for which you strive, the status they pursue. Cacklingly.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Hee. Nope, hadn't heard that one; admire it extremely. Perhaps the little fuzzbutts wanted to pack up their gushyfudz and leave home...?

[mevennen.livejournal.com]

Your cats are the weirdest cats I've ever come across. Srsly.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Speshul Snowflakes. I haz dem. *nods*

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

Moon is firmly of the opinion that bins exist to be knocked over and investigated. Which is why our kitchen bin is inside a cupboard. And Ish slept on my head for the first three months we had him, which was just about manageable, as he was still fairly small (he was a big kitten) and occasionally reverts to the habit. This is less okay as he is very affectionate, very snuggle and weighs 6 kilos.

[mantichore.livejournal.com]

I know they are cats, so that there's a very low ceiling on the things you can hope to teach them, but still: you have brought up your boys in the most appalling way that anyone could ever imagine.

And, should I ever have an occasion to dine at Brenchley's, I'm going to inspect the full piece of meat before accepting my share of it. No cat half-chewed leftovers for me, thank you. >:-((

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Oh pshaw, you're so picky. I'll tell you, when you've been woken up often and often with a cat's paw in your mouth, frankly you're not going to worry so much about sharing something that's only been in theirs...