Oh, damn

[desperance]

You know that thing where you wake up in the middle of the night to realise that you're thoroughly sick of every aspect of your life, and yet too scared to change it...?

Well, here I am in the daylight afterwards, and I can't work out if that was a genuine insight that needs acting on, or just the old night terrors back again.

Buggrit.

In other news: my body may be crap, my life may be crap, I may indeed myself be crap (there is some evidence to that effect) but I do retain one skill: where olives are sold by the container rather than by weight, I am able to cram an extraordinary quantity of olives into one container. They're practically puree'd by compression alone.

So: I have olives, many olives. I have gin. When the gin runs out, there's plenty of wine. I think the weekend starts here.

Comments

[timill]

Did the insight include a vision of where you should go, or just gin and olives?

I think the weekend starts here.

[durham-rambler.livejournal.com]

No, I think the weekend starts here.

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I do not think you are crap in anyway.
But I know that feeling. In me, that waking up thing did indeed mean I needed to make some big changes. (Which then took years and a breakdown to enact, sigh.) It may well be different for other people (how helpful is that? Not). But: what feels deep-down worse -- changing or sticking? (And if one seems less preferable than self-defenestration from a height, then that's probably the one to avoid.)

[rflong.livejournal.com]

With gin, wine and that many olives (marinated? yum) I must say it sounds like the perfect weekend.

[lamentables.livejournal.com]

Mmmmmmmm, olives.
My experience is that what I feel in the middle of the night is not real and best ignored. I have yet to ascertain the precise time at which insurmountable problems become merely things for the To Do List, but I know it exists.

[lagilman]

errrrk. Been there, done that. Although not with olives.

In the end, change is preferable to being sick. Note that 'preferable' comes with no promise of 'easy.' Pace yourself....

[stephanieburgis.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

Enjoy your weekend, and be gentle with yourself as you figure out the changes you need.

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

I am able to cram an extraordinary quantity of olives into one container

Or "stomach", as it's commonly known.

[fatbaldguy60.livejournal.com]

Handy talent, that. Nom nom.

[handworn.livejournal.com]

Ah, but how many can you cram in your mouth at one time?

[khaybee.livejournal.com]

Aaaah. Night time voices. Ken Scholes calls them the chattering head monkeys. In the fun book Michael Tolliver Lives, Armistead Maupin wrote, "I have a mind like a steel trap. Sometimes I have to gnaw my leg off to get away from it."

Don't listen to the chattering head monkeys.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Hee. Thank you. (I met Armistead Maupin once! Also in the room, Ian McKellen and John Lahr. My fanboy squee was very possibly excessive...)