Lost

[desperance]

Last night, I was in Sunderland, for the launch of Bryan Talbot's epic "Alice in Sunderland" (buy it now - it's got me in!); this morning I hightailed it back to Newcastle, for the Northern Rock Foundation Writer's Award ceremony/lunch. Where a good time was had by all, and m'friend Sean O'Brien got the award (at last! After all these years of 'good grief, that's another year they've managed not to give it to Sean'). Which I knew about in advance, tho' not due to any leakage from Sean, but managed not to tell anyone at all. Even when drunk. Which I thought impressive.

Less impressive, halfway through lunch I realised I'd lost an earring. Which might not sound such a dramatic thing, but this is history: thirty years ago, a friend and I had our ears pierced together. He got sleepers, I got studs. The guy who did it made us swear not to fiddle with them, not to change 'em for a full month. Then we came out of the shop and right there in the street, in his full view, we took out one each and swapped 'em over. One of those teenage Big Romantic Gestures, we loved it and ourselves and each other.

And then Andy died, and he went to his grave with one of my earrings in; and I've been wearing mine'n'his for thirty years, and I've just lost one. Luckily it was mine rather than his, but it's still kinda soul-shaking.

So: I want advice, O my LJ. Do I let the hole heal over, in tribute to absent friends? Or do I buy a new earring? And if so, what, where, how...?

Comments

[pogodragon.livejournal.com]

My reaction is to get another sleeper to replace it - it won't be the same earring (obviously), but the spirit will be the same.

Though in the end, which ever feels 'right' to you is the way to go.

[synedrian.livejournal.com]

In the spirit of Romantic Gestures, it doesn't seem proper to pair up your significant earring with a new and random one. Also, there's beauty in assymetry. Sorry you lost it, though. *hugs*

[sbisson.livejournal.com]

It's out? Oooh! It's got some of my photographs in...

[julesjones]

It's a symbol, not just a piece of metal. The metal is gone, but the symbol hasn't. Buy another, and tell it that it's the son of the one gone before.

My engagement ring was stolen in a burglary. I bought another, of the same pattern. It's not the same, but it helps, to the point where some years on I don't think about it any more. It's just my engagement ring. (And it helped that the shop took it seriously, and went to some trouble to trace the pattern for me from the information on the receipt I still had so that I could have another like it.)

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Has it? Doubly cool! Which ones...?

[desperance.livejournal.com]

It's a symbol, not just a piece of metal. The metal is gone, but the symbol hasn't. Buy another, and tell it that it's the son of the one gone before.

Nice. Thank you. I might do that...

[sbisson.livejournal.com]

One is the basis of the big full page spread of the Angel of the North, and also some of my cloudscapes appear in various places...

marypcb and I also did some of the reference photographs for the rigging, and of Lewis Carroll's grave. Her arm gets used in a couple of places, too!

(I did like the section with you and Bryan walking around the sculpture walk - we've done that walk with him and Mary!)

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

If it was me, I would either let the hole grow closed or else get people who could reasonably be labeled your oldest and your newest friend to go with you to buy a new one.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

Not to gloss over these two major items (hooray for Sean! and boo hiss for losing things, which I hate...), what I really want to know is, have you asked papersky which Kentish village you are? Or indeed, told her which Kentish village you are...

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

God. I, who am completely detached from the earring story in any rational manner, find it shaking. And I've now been sitting here staring at it for, I don't know, ten minutes, maybe fifteen, trying to decide what I would do. My first impulse was to say "let it grow over." But the more I sit here thinking about it, the more I think that what I'd do is buy a new earring, but not right away. I think there'd probably be a moment when I walked by a jewelry shop and thought, "Yeah, okay, now," and that would be the right time to get a new one. The old one deserves a mourning period.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

I think that's an excellent idea, too.

[handworn.livejournal.com]

Let it heal up. I agree with the LJer who said there's beauty in asymmetry.

A SWEET disorder in the dress
Kindles in clothes a wantonness :
A lawn about the shoulders thrown
Into a fine distraction :
An erring lace which here and there
Enthrals the crimson stomacher :
A cuff neglectful, and thereby
Ribbons to flow confusedly :
A winning wave (deserving note)
In the tempestuous petticoat :
A careless shoe-string, in whose tie
I see a wild civility :
Do more bewitch me than when art
Is too precise in every part.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Both of these things. I don't know how her system works, but I'm fascinated to know if I come out as indeed my own village, or somewhere else entirely...

(And have you? And where/which/what are you?)

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Hee. I love th eline about the petticoat. What is this...?

[handworn.livejournal.com]

"Delight in Disorder," by Robert Herrick (1591-1674).

[billbrent.livejournal.com]

Why choose? Flip a coin; let the Universe direct you.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

I think most of his visitors get to do the walk. Really, my major contribution to the book has been the proofreading...

[papersky.livejournal.com]

Oh that's so sad about the ear-ring. *hug*

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Apparently in papersky-world I'm Painter's Forstal. Which I like. Are you a Kentish village too?

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Or indeed a village of Kent?

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Ah, thanks. I know far less of Herrick than I ought.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

I didn't dare ask...

Oh, and while I'm here: Alice (now with added Chaz!)

[fjm.livejournal.com]

You buy a pair and you take one of the pair and give it to Andy. If you can bury it in his plot good. If he was cremated, bury it somewhere special to you and him.

Earring

[(Anonymous)]

I feel for your loss.

Something to consider: After this long of a time - you said thirty years or so? - the hole probably won't heal up. It's your choice if you want to fill it with something else.

My vote is to find another earring, but not just any earring. Either actively look (though you might not find anything) and if you find one that feels right or makes you think of your friend, get it, but don't settle for something just because you want to fill the void. Or, just passively watch and wait until you happen across one that feels right or reminds you of your friend. The second choice gets my vote, because then you will know that you friend likely sent it your direction. If you meditatie on him, and your good memories, you might get his attention faster.

If you know how, you could charge it with similar energy that it had before.

Forgive my anonymous post. People tend to be judgemental of my beliefs, and I'd rather not have a bunch of hating people visit my journal either insulting or trying to convert me and "save my soul".

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Thanks for that, the page looks wonderful. Have you told Bryan?

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Mm, I like that. Thanks...

Re: Earring

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Don't worry for a moment about anonymity; I understand completely. I don't think too many hating people read this journal, but by all means let's avoid 'em.

Also, I like what you're saying.

[beckyzoole.livejournal.com]

I like this idea, too.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

I have now.

Sunderland

[mantichore.livejournal.com]

Okay, now that the earring incident has found a happy resolution (without input from me, as I could see some validity in just about any solution), I'll backtrack to that Alice in Sunderland book, which I just got today, and it's huge! I've leafed through it, seen a face under a cap that looked very familiar indeed, and lots of intriguing and exciting stuff which I'm all a-tingle to read, but just can't, as I have some proofs (prooves?) to correct and a translation to finish. So the book is on the shelf, beside Alan Moore's and Melinda Gebbie's Lost Girls and Shigeru Mizuki's NonNonBâ, awaiting a more favorable conjunction of stars.

I might peek inside every once in a while, though. It looks really great.

[mantichore.livejournal.com]

Oh.

Just saw there was a blurb by Leo Baxendale on the back cover. This is great! ^__________^

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Yup. There's a bit inside that - but no! No spoilers! My lips are sealed...