Conversation, going down

[desperance]

At the head of the stairs: "Yes, boys, I love you; no, it is not your teatime."

On the landing: "Yes, boys, I do still love you; no, it is still not your teatime."

At the foot of the stairs: "Yes, boys, I will always love you; no, it will never ever be your teatime."

Only one of these is untrue.

Comments

[mevennen.livejournal.com]

...from a household where the perennial cry is: IT NOT TEATIME! BUGGER OFF!

At least you don't have dogs who break into the fridge and steal the sausages, she said bitterly, and yes it has been that sort of day.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

No, but I have a cat who tries to break into the window-frames, on the grounds that they are white pvc and so look kinda like fridge doors out of which all good things come, so they must be worth scratching wildly at, just in case...

(Okay, I'm interpreting - but there has to be a reason, doesn't there...?)

Also, I had a friend, who was a cat called Boris; and he could break into fridges to steal cold chicken. So Nick-who-Boris-lived-with put a bungee-cord around the fridge when there was chicken in it, and Boris learned to undo that. So Nick fitted a childlock, and Boris broke it. So Nick left the chicken in the oven overnight, and Boris worked out how to open that...

Boris liked chicken.

[julesjones]

One of ours stole a frozen leg of lamb out of a covered pot, and put the lid back on the pot so that mum wouldn't notice...

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Oh, yay. That is so cool...

[pennski.livejournal.com]

One Christmas our turkey had claw marks in it...

...have I ever told you the peacock anecdote?

[desperance.livejournal.com]

No! Tell peacock anecdote! *wants!*

Peacock anecdote

[pennski.livejournal.com]

Of course, this anecdote works better with an element of surprise...

Back when we were living in Rook's Cottage, Benjy used to sit on the kitchen worktop in the mornings as I put breakfast together.

One morning, I blearily noticed he was staring across the kitchen with a very fixed, very intent expression on his face.

So I looked out of the kitchen window, expecting perhaps to see a rook (the cottage was aptly named).

There, perched on the neighbours' roof was a full-grown male peacock.

Benjy was quite obviously thinking "I could handle that, no trouble".

Fortunately, the peacock didn't come down. He stayed on the roof for a couple of hours before flying elsewhere, so we never had to see Benjy being beaten by a bird.

Re: Peacock anecdote

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Hee. When Barry first moved in here - before the advent of Mac exposed him as a wuss - he was very certain that he could take anything that moved. Dogs, particularly. As they strolled by, he would jump from one window to the next, run room to room to get a better view, to demonstrate to me just how dangerous to dogs he was. I live in a macho neighbourhood. So there was Baz, explaining just how he would dissect that puny dog-thing if only this tedious glass wasn't in the way; and I'd look outside, and there'd be the local rottweiler ambling past, or a pair of Dobermans, or...