Tell me a thing, O internets

[desperance]

All my life - well, all my TV-sport-watching life - well, ever since Olga Korbut, basically, I have been watching tiny women do bizarre and implausible things on the asymmetric bars.

Suddenly today, for the first time in my life (and please to bear in mind that I am nearly Very Old; Olga Korbut was a long time ago, and half you young things have never heard of her), I have watched tiny women do those same bizarre and implausible things on the Uneven Bars.

And what I want to know is, is this a British thing, did we just decide to call 'em something simpler? Or is it the other way around, has the rest of the world been calling 'em the Uneven Bars for decades while we clung to our quaint and old-fashioned ways, and have we finally given way? Or has a decree gone out, has the world been dumbed down as one, is it officially decided that no one knows what asymmetric means any more? Did the Olympics change the name? What has happened, what...?

(Whatever it is, I do not like it. Because I am nearly Very Old, I dislike change per se; but asymmetric is beautiful, and uneven is in this context ugly, besides being inherently patronising &c. I do not like it, Gunga Din.)

Comments

[adrian-turtle.livejournal.com]

When I was a wee thing watching Olga Korbut do spectacular things, the American TV announcer said she was doing them "on the uneven parallel bars." At least I think so. I was 4. I am more confident of American TV announcers talking about Nadia Comenici doing spectacular things "on the uneven parallel bars." (Which inspired one of my friends to attempt to take up gymnastics. And cry when the director of the gymnastics school looked at her tall parents and advised the family that they were very likely wasting their time and effort.)

[kazdreamer.livejournal.com]

Nearly Very Old.
Chaz has used this term twice now-
he is young at heart.

[frandowdsofa.livejournal.com]

Oooh, that is Bad and Wrong.

[sora-blue.livejournal.com]

I'm going to start calling them the asymmetric bars.

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

But... but...

But uneven doesn't MEAN asymmetric, it means all lumpy and bumpy.

When the snow lay round about / Deep and crisp and symmetrical?

Chaz, your shirt needs ironing, it's all asymmetric?

*runs away howling*

[moral-vacuum.livejournal.com]

There's no poetry any more. Plus, "uneven" implies that they're roughly surfaced, or are on an angle, or indeed are a multitude of possible things, whilst "asymmetric" means exactly what it says.

I was once traumatised by a list sent round at work of "plain English" words and phrases. Except half the suggested terms had multiple meanings, whilst many of the ones they wanted us to reject said exactly what they were supposed to with no ambiguity. Grrr.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

I'm 61, U.S., and don't recall ever hearing them called anything other than the uneven bars.

[mrissa.livejournal.com]

In my opinion they are neither uneven nor asymmetric; what they are is in a plane neither parallel nor perpendicular to the floor. If they were asymmetric, one of them would be longer than the other, and on an offset. But I can draw an axis of symmetry through them, therefore they are not asymmetric, and the "not uneven" argument has been covered already.

But at least since I watched Mary Lou Retton in 1984, female gymnasts have performed on the uneven bars, and I think this is more likely a usage difference (like "yield" vs. "give way" on a traffic sign) than a dumbing down.

[cakmpls.livejournal.com]

P.S. I'm not a big gymnastics fan, but have watched some Olympics over the years. I'm not saying I haven't heard "asymmetric bars," but I don't recall it. When I read your post, the term stopped me; I thought, "The what?"

I have no idea how many of the Google cites actually pertain to this event, but "asymmetric bars" gets 12,000 hits and "uneven bars" 262,000.

[pjthompson]

I remember Olga, too. And here in 'Murrica she performed on the Uneven Bars, I'm afraid. I don't think American sports announcers can say words as big as asymmetrical.

[clanwilliam.livejournal.com]

Good grief! I've never heard them called that (east coast Irish so grew up with the BBC) and it sounds all wrong. Asymmetric sounds like design; uneven sounds like the bars' builder did a bodge job.

[brisingamen.livejournal.com]

Asymmetric! As a child I liked interesting and unusual words, and asymmetric was one that stuck in the mind.

[elsue.livejournal.com]

When I was in... junior high school? high school? and had to try to actually do stuff on those things, they were consistently referred to as the "uneven parallel bars." I sucked at it.

I'm USian and older than you are, for what it's worth.

[athenais.livejournal.com]

I've always heard them referred to as the uneven bars. That's what they were in 1969 when I was on the gymnastics team at my school, age 12. They were my favorite equipment.

[possumqueen.livejournal.com]

Chaz, you old curmudgeonish chap .... for as long as I've been alive (and I'm 50) in the USA, the men have the parallel bars and the women have the uneven parallel bars. I think it's a clear-cut distinction, especially for other nations. It's neat and simple.

Oh you English purists and your pre-colonial vocabulary relics! yada yada yada... ;)

[durham-rambler.livejournal.com]

Uneven bars only occasionally serve good beer. However, research on the official Olympic site reveals that the English version calls them uneven, but the French has barres asymétriques Femmes.

[possumqueen.livejournal.com]

Francophile traitor!! I knew it -- a Norman turncoat. >:(

No justice, no peace.

[mizkit.livejournal.com]

I've never heard 'em called anything but the uneven bars. :)

[danjite.livejournal.com]

I can confirm this: In the US it was Uneven parallel bars in 1972. And since.

I prefer asymmetric. But they never ask me.

Also, the structure of the bars has changed radically: Remember how girls used to hold on to the top bar and bang their hips on the lower one? Now one would have to be seven feet tall to manage that.

[alexmc.livejournal.com]

A survey of Google results suggests to me that Uneven is the "American" term and "asymmetric" the UK term.

I dont have much problem with using American words for global consistency.

[silly-swordsman.livejournal.com]

Ah, how soon the pink world map has been forgotten...

[hobbitblue.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad you posted this, because I did a double-take too, and then peered closely at the screen while the young lady was doing her jumping and twizzing around said bars to see if they'd maybe changed them. Always thought of them as assymetric. Must be too complex a word for the Americans to comprehend, or the media bosses assume we'll not understand big words at least.

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

In the television announcing for the 1962 Olympics they use 'uneven parallel bars'.

[mantichore.livejournal.com]

I hereby bear witness that these torture instruments are called barres asymétriques in French and have always been.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Yay the French! When you have le mot juste, you hold on to it. Hell, you even have a word for it...!

[mantichore.livejournal.com]

There's no when. We always have le mot juste! Constitutionally mandatory, you know.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Well, there's no need to brag. Just because we poor Brits don't have a constitution...

[mantichore.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor thing, you. But you have a Magna Carta. And uppity politicians can't fiddle with that all the time. It's something.