Missing. Inaction.

Right now? Is the first time since I went on the antibiotics - viz, almost the first time in a week - that I have really, really wanted one of those drinks I cannot have. Or maybe several. Maybe all the drinks.

I guess I'm depressed. I just turned down the offer of dinner; I don't want to leave the house, and I don't want company. I'm booked for a gig on Friday, but I think I'm going to pull out of that too, pre-emptively; it would be awful to face it feeling like this. And I'd be crap anyway, so.

I'm not looking forward to dental hijinks tomorrow, but that's almost secondary now. Plans for Xmas were complicated already, dashing all over the country; they just acquired an extra layer of complication, which only makes me want to pull out altogether. I'm a simple soul, and complicated is a thing I walk away from when I can. Not sure I actually can this time, but. Want to.

Also, my tentative getting-ready-to-emigrate seems to have stalled altogether. I haven't even been taking the Lit & Phil their tribute of books, since I got back from the US. I've not been well, but even so. Nothing's going to sort itself.