Chaz'z Temptation...

[desperance]

...is to say "People are strange," far more often than I ought.

A friend gave me a gorgeous great slab of fresh mature line-caught cod. As I have potatoes in the house, and various other veggie goodnesses, and milk (unusually), my first thought was a fish pie; but I revised that, because the fish is just too good to need a sauce. So I shall griddle the fish; and I thought "potatoes, milk - Janssen's Temptation!" At least a poor man's version thereof, as it's more properly made with cream. Hell, it's more properly a dish of its own, rather than an accompaniment, but I don't care. It's nice, and it'll be good against the cod, so hey.

First thing, though, I thought I'd check against a recipe or two, in case I'd forgotten some prime ingredient. Potatoes, cream/milk, onion, anchovies - it would be hard to forget any one of those, but it's always worth checking. So I did; and was instantly reminded of how strange people are.

Not by the one who says, in her list of ingredients, "small tin of anchovies (I leave these out)" - that's not strange, that's weird, and demands a whole different section on its own. It's doubly weird, indeed, first to make the dish without its prime distinguishing ingredient - what she's making, in fact, is pommes dauphinoise with onion in lieu of a rub of garlic - and second to advertise that, to list an absent ingredient...

But anyway, not that. People are strange, because anyone who posts a recipe has presumably cooked it, at least once; and anyone who cooks Janssen's Temptation knows, above all else, how long it needs in the oven. And of the half-dozen recipes I looked at, only one came anywhere near. That was the one that said an hour to an hour and a half; I'm not even going to look before an hour and a half, and I'm budgeting two. But most of these recipes fall into another slot entirely, forty-five minutes to an hour; which is classic, I've seen this before, often and often, but it's just so wrong. After forty-five minutes, your potatoes will still be crunchy. Wrong, wrong, wrong. And surely they know this, surely they've tried it, tested it, tasted it...?

So okay, my way: peel your potatoes and cut them into slices or batons, depending on taste. Peel & slice an onion. Open a tin of anchovies. Butter an ovenproof dish, and begin layering: potatoes, onion, anchovies. Every now and then a scatter of pepper (you will not need salt), a drizzle of the oil from the anchovies, a pour of cream (or, meanly, milk) until the dish is almost full of both potatoes and liquid. Then one last layer of potatoes, dab with butter, cover and slip low into a medium oven, and then leave it. And leave it longer. Don't even look for ninety minutes. You want the top golden, the liquid absorbed, the potato tender and scrumptious. It may take two hours, depends on the oven, but there isn't a domestic oven in the world that will do this in an hour. Trust me. The recipes are lying to you...

Comments

[pogodragon.livejournal.com]

Sounds like wonderful food, though The One I Live With is a vegetarian so I'd have to do the small tin of anchovies (I leave these out) thing if I were cooking it at home. (*makes careful note to at least double the cooking time given in the recipes*)

I don't think anyone has yet come up with a veggie substitute for anchovies.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

I don't think anyone has yet come up with a veggie substitute for anchovies.

Nor do I think anyone should try. It's about choice: you choose to live veggie, you have chosen to live without anchovies. Live with it. Celebrate the vegetable, don't spend your time trying to imitate those things you've turned away from... Etc. I'm kind of brutal in this regard. I pretend to have no sympathy with veggies, but this is only because I am ex-veggie myself. I have been there, I have done that; but I was there because it was exciting, it was a whole new way to cook. I never understood those people whose idea of vegetarianism was fake meat. I confess to being kind of curious about Mock Turtle Soup, but this is only because I spent many years believing devoutly in the Mock Turtle...

PS

[desperance.livejournal.com]

The dish has now been in the oven 1hr 45mins. Not ready yet. Easy guide: if you spill milk on the oven floor as you take it out to test it, it's Not Ready Yet. I've moved the shelf up a notch and taken the cover off, but we're looking at another half an hour, easy. It will be gorgeous. Eventually...

[pogodragon.livejournal.com]

I'm an ex-veggie as well - I shared a flat with a veggie while I was a student and gave it a try for a term, that term lasted nearly 10 years, but I decided that I preferred being able to choose from the entire menu and not to have to eat 'vegetable lasagna' every time I went out to eat.

I like cooking interesting veggie food, and don't mind too much using the fake meats even, but husband person is a vegetarian who doesn't much like vegetables and isn't particularly interested in food anyway. Processed is good, sweet and processed is better, unless it's pizza from his favourite take away place. It makes feeding him a bit of a challenge at times.

Re: PS

[pogodragon.livejournal.com]

Thanks. *makes mental note of the doneness test*.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

I'm an ex-veggie as well - I shared a flat with a veggie while I was a student and gave it a try for a term, that term lasted nearly 10 years, but I decided that I preferred being able to choose from the entire menu and not to have to eat 'vegetable lasagna' every time I went out to eat.

Yup, I was much the same - lived with veggie students, got interested, stayed that way for four and a half years. Then I got bored.

I like cooking interesting veggie food, and don't mind too much using the fake meats even, but husband person is a vegetarian who doesn't much like vegetables and isn't particularly interested in food anyway. Processed is good, sweet and processed is better, unless it's pizza from his favourite take away place. It makes feeding him a bit of a challenge at times.

Goodness. [makes no further comment, because commenting on other people's relationships is Rude; and so retires, making vague 'eek!' noises that he hopes won't be interpreted as comment...]

[pogodragon.livejournal.com]

I got used to it, I am very very used to thinking about what kinds of food he will and won't like now, I do it automatically. It's only when I try to explain it to someone else that I realise quite how odd his dietary habits can sound.

I stayed mostly veggie for nearly 10 years, started eating meat again just before I met the husband person. I have great timing - I was a Christian until about the time I married a Reverend as well.

[hamadryad11.livejournal.com]

Actually, except for the anchovies, it sounds like the scalloped potatoes my mom makes. And it takes about 45 minutes in a 400 degree Fahrenheit oven for the potatoes to get soft, and another 10-15 minutes at 500 degrees (or on broil) to brown the top.

Yum. Scalloped potatoes. Getting hungry...

[desperance.livejournal.com]

I have great timing - I was a Christian until about the time I married a Reverend as well.

Hee. Only a cad would infer that there's nothing like a close encounter with the church to make you lose your faith (and, as we have established, that would be Rude...).

Two hours, ten minutes. And counting. I'm wondering if perhaps using milk instead of cream somehow slows everything down...? (Actually, I suspect it's about absorption vs thickening - cream will thicken in the cooking where milk just has to evaporate or be absorbed. Or something...)

[pogodragon.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should write up my tales of relationships and bad timing sometime. I'm not sure whether it would be a comedy or a tragedy though.

Cream starts off much thicker than milk, and higher fat content so that means that... erm... it takes longer with milk because of factors. *nods wisely*

[papersky.livejournal.com]

Without the anchovies it's Pommes Dauphinois, which around our house gets called Dolphin Potatoes. With stock instead of cream, and cheese instead of anchovies, it's Pomme Savoyade. I must try it with anchovies sometime.

But not tonight. Tonight I have promised zorinth bangers and mash -- but like your wonderful bacon and eggs, the bangers in question are wild boar and fromage champignon.

[jeremy-m.livejournal.com]

> The One I Live With is a vegetarian so I'd have to do the small tin of anchovies (I leave these out) thing if I were cooking it at home

Surely for the vegetarian version one should leave out a small tin of vegetables? Although for a similar cost you could leave out a much larger tin of something really nice, like syrup pudding.

Jeremy ("The One I Live With")

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's absolutely right, isn't it? If you're going to leave something out, make it something gorgeous. (Privately, of course, I think anchovies are gorgeous. *heads for bath, thinking of anchovy syrup pudding*)

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Yay bangers. Happy Z. I love when that inverted-snobbery food gets turned back on its coroneted head; somebody served me fish pie once, and it had half a lobster in it. For a moment there, I thought that was over-gilding the gingerbread - but nah. Tasted gorgeous. Like a coquilles St Jacques on the rise.

I 'member the first time I cooked wild boar. It was games night, and we'd taken over this cottage in the country (hey, we were young, y'know?); and it marinated half a day in oil and wine and bay and juniper and thyme, and then I roasted it and thickened the gravy with its blood, and there were stars and owls and we played till dawn and...

So on, so forth. Like that.

[matociquala.livejournal.com]

mm. I'm on my way.

[julesjones]

Some of us post recipes with "I leave this out" because we don't like whatever it is, but are aware that we are in a minority, and others might like to know what the authentic version is. I am particularly bad for this because I am a supertaster *and* appear to have every single genetically switched "yuk!" reaction known to humanity, with the exception of the bitter chemical in brussels sprouts (and guess which is the only one that Other Half has?). So my recipes as passed on to other people have been known to include scribbled notes along the lines of "I think this tastes disgusting, but other people seem to like it". :-)

[samarcand.livejournal.com]

I have almost never come across a recipe (or, even worse, the instructions on the side of a box of whatever) that accurately describes the correct length of time to cook something. This is just one of the many reasons that I hate cooking. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about never getting nice food because I have Candy and you and

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<ljuser="shewhomust">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

I have almost never come across a recipe (or, even worse, the instructions on the side of a box of whatever) that accurately describes the correct length of time to cook something. This is just one of the many reasons that I hate cooking. Fortunately, I don't have to worry about never getting nice food because I have Candy and you and <ljuser="shewhomust"> and Gail and my dad and Candy's mom and...

(By the way, you must come around to our new house and, y'know, cook for us.)

[desperance.livejournal.com]

(By the way, you must come around to our new house and, y'know, cook for us.)

Deal. When would you like me?

[samarcand.livejournal.com]

What are you doing tonight?

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Working, alas - it's a worky world. Next week sometime? If you can live with the guilt of diminishing my daily page-count. Or more likely killing it altogether, while I shop and chop instead...

[samarcand.livejournal.com]

Oh, I think I can live with that... Towards the end of the week would be better than the beginning. I shall discuss with my beloved and we shall come to a decision. (Although I'm thinking maybe next Friday or Saturday.)

[shewhomust.livejournal.com]

What is it with recipes and almost anything involving numbers? Times, temperatures, even quantities? Julan Barnes is eloquent on the subject. They try to weasel out of it with "Your oven may vary", but we're talking orders of magnitude here.

I knew this was the case, but I didn't realise how frequently it happened until durham_rambler went through his cooking phase, and remarked that every time I told him which recipe I used for a particular dish, it was accompanied by "Only, of course, I don't do THAT..."

After forty-five minutes, your potatoes will still be crunchy.

[durham-rambler.livejournal.com]

I do like a bit of crunchyness in the dish, I certainly like it the way shewhomust cooks it. But this, she tells me, is in the top layer.

Re: After forty-five minutes, your potatoes will still be crunchy.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Mmm - it was shewhomust who introduced me to it, for which I am duly grateful. And I do know what you mean about the crunchy - but yes, I want it on the top, not in the sense of 'this potato ain't cooked through'. Underneath, what I want is unctuousness. The uncty.