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It's all strategies of avoidance, really. Even my novel, my wurrrk: even that, these last weeks, has been a device to save my having to deal with other stuff.

Still'n'all. Let us not blow our own cover.

In the interests of New Food: I made this up, I did. Draft #1 was a few weeks back, granted, but that still rates as New.

This lines up with all known hashes, bubble & squeak, etc etc. Probably people have been doing this for generations, but not me. I did this yesterday.

No reliable quantities given; use what you have, or what you want.

Roots: potatoes, carrots. Were what I used last night. Swede, turnip, celeriac would also be fine, in or out of proportion. Or more exotic roots, indeed. Anyone for salsify?

Peel, chunk and boil your roots till tender. Drain, add salt and pepper and a dash or two of olive oil, mash till smooth.

Alliums and greens: onions, leek, garlic. Chilli, celery. Were what I used last night. Orchestrate to your own desire.

Peel & slice the onions, set to sizzle in olive oil. Chop and add chillies to taste (or, of course, not). Crush, chop & add garlic (ditto). Slice and add leek and celery, and saute until all is soft and scrumptious.

Stir the whole panful into the mashed roots.

Heat the oven, medium-hot (note: in Chazworld, all ovens have three temperatures: cool, medium and hot. Your world may vary).

Form the mixture into balls, and set them on an oiled baking-tray. Pat flat, slide them into the oven and leave them there until they are golden-brown and crispy on the outside, meltingly savoury and yum within.

Eat with whatever you fancy, then start thinking about how to do them differently next time. (A little turmeric in the mix, to go with fish marinated in lemon juice and Indian spices? Add an egg, for extra richness? Cabbage, to go with bacon...?)(Oh, that reminds me, I forgot: I had the heel of a smoked ham, so I chopped that up, fried the bits crisp and stirred 'em into the mix before baking. That's the kind of food it is.)

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