Running out of scissors

[desperance]

I swear, I am going to buy a dozen varied pairs of scissors & poultry shears and dispose them at intervals around the kitchen, and then just dare them all to disappear. (Context, for the weak: we have a pair of kitchen scissors. I would use them quite frequently, if I could ever fucking find them. I used them earlier today, indeed, when I chanced upon them. Just now, when I really needed them? Gone again...)

In the meantime, I wrote a song.

I wonder where the fucking scissors are?
Oh, I wonder where the fucking scissors are?
I thought they were thereabouts
But I don't know their whereabouts
I wonder where the fucking scissors are...