Lose weight now. Ask me how.

[desperance]

Spend a week in bed. Take no exercise at all. Starve yourself for twelve hours or so, every other day; otherwise eat regular meals of stodgy institutional food, topped up with lots of biscuits and cakes and late-night rounds of toast. Plus whatever else your friends bring you: chocolates, fruit, like that. Olives and sausage. (I have good friends.)

I seem to be half a stone lighter. How can this be?

Comments

[tammy-moore.livejournal.com]

The work-out of lifting all those books (I'm reading a brick of a book at the moment, strap two of them to a stick and you could set up your own gym.)

...or hospital bedding has been used and reused so many times - bleached unmercifully between times - that the microscopic organisms that live between the fibres have evolved into frighteningly efficient vampiric organisms that suckle away your subcutaneous fats while you sleep the sleep of the painkiller coshed. Then, bloated like great ticks, their legs barely any use to them anymore, they topple from your body and spew the liquified fat into the sheets where tiny artisans craft protective bunkers of fat to protect their citizens during the coming bleach-storms.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Hee. Also, eww.

What's your brick-of-a-book?

[(Anonymous)]

A Dance in Time by Orna Ross. It's for a review. It's a paperback that is the same size as my History of War hardback. I came home one day and found it wedged by a corner in my letterbox. If there's every rioting in the cul-de-sacs I'm going to tie it to a bungee cord and chuck it out windows at people.

(no insult to the content of the book or anything. It was just...it's the book that ate all the pies. Some of my slimmer volumes have actually mysteriously disappeared since it arrived and...it seems to be getting fatter.)

[tammy-moore.livejournal.com]

That was me. *points upwards*

[martyn44.livejournal.com]

You've suffered. Enjoy it while you can.

[autopope.livejournal.com]

Having your immune system go into panic-mode overdrive for a week and a half tends to make you burn fuel like nobody's business.

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Ah, right. That makes sense. Thanks...

[wishus.livejournal.com]

Cor blimey, I lose proper internet access for a short while, and you go and get yourself hospitalised! Good grief!

Hope you're feeling betterer. x

[http://users.livejournal.com/la_marquise_de_/]

I think I hate you.... ;-)
And aren't you meant not to type?

[sboydtaylor.livejournal.com]

Same thing happened to me when I was sick and in bed for a week and ate soup all the time. Turns out that when you're sick/injured you burn a lot of calories -- and soup and institutional food is actually really light on calories. And plus you're not able to graze during the day.

Unfortunately it comes back pretty fast if you don't keep care of yourself!

[badbookworm.livejournal.com]

All the calories leaked out of your thumb :-(