Gravity and grammar: a feline education

[desperance]

"Down, Mac. Down. It's a relationship with the floor. You haz it."

"Barry, you can't sit on the manuscript. You can't... Oh. Barry, you may not sit on the manuscript. You may not..."

Rinse, obviously, and repeat. At least I amuse myself, when I hear myself say these things.

Comments

[karenmiller.livejournal.com]

Well ... yeah. But I've been perfecting my Shift your arse or die approach since I was a kid with my first horse. Since then it's been used on stallions, ferrets, dogs, cats, cockatoos and various rugrats. Combined with the Evil Eye of Extreme Perdition, it tends to get results. Even from men trying to feel me up while I was doing my job as checkout chick in the Scotmid Co-op, Morningside, Edinburtgh. Oh, and the totally corrupt Mayor of the Local Government I worked for.

The trick is, you must harden your heart. Let not their beguiling beseeching bestir you.

Good luck!

[desperance.livejournal.com]

Ah. That heart-hardening thing again. You have no idea, no idea how soft-centred I am. Indeed, mushy all the way through, really. I am a disgrace to humankind. Which they know, the evil little fuzzbutts...

[karenmiller.livejournal.com]

Actually, after reading your blog, I think I've got a pretty good idea. *g* But, you know, it's all about the tough love ...

[gillpolack.livejournal.com]

The *beautful* evil little fuzzbutts, or the *charming* evil little fuzzbutts. They could be both, but they can't be either. Otherwise you would have no trouble at all making your voice so threatening they obeyed instantly.

I can tell Toby (my mother's cat) to get off any given chair these days. Mind you, he instantly weaves himself around my ankles and leads me to a seat on his facourite couch, where he lures me into patting him. But at least he descends from chairs on my command.

[gillpolack.livejournal.com]

'either' should be 'neither'. I think I'm due for some sleep.